Power Over Darkness

"The power of Satan and his fallen angels is limited. They are but finite creatures who can do nothing outside the permissive will of God. Stan could do nothing against Job (and this was his complaint) until divinely permitted to do so. Satan and his angels are in possession of great knowledge, but they are not omniscient; they have vast power, when permitted to employ it, but they are not omnipotent; they cover the world by their delegated responsibility, but they are not omnipresent. They can suggest evil, but cannot coerce the will of another creature. They may spread snares and devices to ruin the children of God, but they cannot compel any other being to comply with their designs. They have power over nature when permitted to use it, but they can create nothing, nor can they employ God's creation other than as He decrees. They never defeated god. In truth, God uses Stan as an instrument to chasten and correct the erring saints. The knowledge of these limitations cannot but be a comfort to those Christians who take seriously their conflict with the powers of darkness."
-Lewis Sperry Chafer

Choosing Not to Choose

I longed to walk along an easy road,
   And leave behind the dull routine of home,
Thinking in other fields to serve my God'
   But Jesus said, "My time has not yet come."

I longed to sow the seed in other soil,
   To be unshackled in the work, and free,
To join with other laborers in their toil;
   But Jesus said, "It's not My choice for thee."

I longed to leave the desert, and be led
   To work where souls were sunk in sin and shame,
That I might win them; but the Master said,
   "I have not called you, publish here My name."

I longed to fight the battles of my King,
   Lift high His standards in the thickest strife;
But my great Captain had me wait and sing
   Songs of His conquests in my quiet life.

I longed to leave the hard and difficult sphere,
   Where all alone I seemed to stand and wait,
To feel I had some human helper near,
   But Jesus had me guard one lonely gate.

I longed to leave the common daily toil,
   Where no one seemed to understand or care;
But Jesus said, "I choose for you this soil,
   That you might raise for Me some blossoms rare."

And now I have no longing but to do
   At home, or far away, His blessed will,
To work amid the many or the few;
  Thus, "choosing not to choose," my heart is still.

Guerillas of Grace

I read this beautiful poem today:

"How shall I pray?
Are tears prayers, Lord?
Are screams prayers,
     or groans
                     or sighs
                                   or curses?
Can trembling hands be lifted to you,
     or clenched fists
                    or the cold sweat that trickles down my back
                                 or the cramps that knot my stomach?
Will you accept my prayers, Lord,
       my real prayers,
                    rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged
bouquet of words?
Will you accept me, Lord,
      as I really am,
                   messed up mixture of glory and grime?"

Oh, To Be As God

Bring me back to you, your heart. Connect our hearts again. Let your blood shed on the cross flow into my own heart and pump through my veins and course all throughout me. Pervade my body, my soul, my whole being. When I bleed, may it be your blood. When I cry, may it be your tears shed from the depths of love, longing, compassion, and emotion. When I speak, may it be your words, flowering out with the sweetness of honey, like a salve to the wounded places of hearts around me. When I touch, may it be your touch of healing, love, and acceptance--a kindness not of this world. May the cry of my heart to be a bit more like you each day, my beautiful God.

An Old Man

Today I had a really special encounter with God. The setting was the parking lot at Starbucks. (Go ahead and roll your eyes). I think that God knows how much I love Starbucks, so he uses it in so many awesome ways to speak to me, touch me, and open my eyes to life with him. God knows how to get our attention.

This morning I pulled into a parking spot in the lot outside Starbucks, and I saw an old man slowly getting out of his ancient Honda Civic. He was a bit stooped over as many old people get, and instantly I had a pang in my heart remembering my grandpa who had a similar walk. I half expected this man to shuffle over to me to give me a frail, yet loving hug, like my grandpa once used to do. But he just slowly walked past my car to some destination unknown to me. I almost wanted to get out and hold his arm to walk him across the parking lot just to make sure he was okay. I watched him and took note of his New Balance sneakers and yellow Reebok baseball cap. Everything is ten times more precious when worn by an old man. I instantly loved this man, although I didn't know him.

When I got in line once inside the Starbucks store, I noticed my new friend a few people in front of me, ordering his morning coffee. I tried to imagine his life--did he have a wife still, did he get coffee every morning, did he like to do the crossword puzzle in the newspaper, did he watch the news every night? Then I saw him smile at the cashier when she handed him his coffee. His smile was so simple and genuine. It was so apparent to me the goodness and inner joy in his heart. This was a good man. And old, slightly stooped, good-hearted man. Oh, I loved him. I had to look away because I was on the verge of tearing up. (It is pretty well known that I often tear up when I see really precious little kids. Apparently old people have also joined the ranks in the soft spot of my heart). His little smile made me happy, and I smiled to myself.

I waited a few more minutes to order and get my drink and the old man had since left with his coffee in hand. When I got into my car, I realized his car still parked near mine. He was sitting inside it. I was once again tearing up, and I was overwhelmed by a desire for this man to be blessed and have a wonderful day. I prayed for him to be blessed and to have a day filled with happiness and joy. My desire for this stranger to have a lovely day was so strong it was almost strange. Then I realized, God feels the exact same way about this man. It wasn't so strange after all. God loves this man, wants to bless him, and he wants joy and happiness to fill his days. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. God's great love! And yet another realization hit me: God feels the same way about me as well, and every single one of his children. My head knows that God desires good for me, but in this moment in the Starbucks parking lot, I felt it. I felt it in my heart and soul in an overwhelming way. It made that wonderful transition from head to heart. This old man that I wanted God to bless so abundantly, had just been used by God to bless me.

I hope that I can remember this man and the encounter I had with God that day on the days when I'm struggling to believe God for good in my life. May this be a man and a truth that I carry with me.

Final DTS Update (Paris)

This is it--finally! The last update, from Paris, nonetheless!

We spent a quick couple days in Paris as a special treat form our leaders. We were actually able to drive to Paris from Amsterdam, so we also got to add Belgium to our list of countries that we traveled during our trip. We were only able to spend two days in Paris, but it was still well worth it. It was our team debrief time, and we used it to explore as much of Paris as we could!

I don't have much to say about it, other than it was splendid, beautiful, too short-lived, and I want to go back some day when I have more time!! Also, Paris really is quite a romantic place ;)

The Eiffel Tower!

Our team takes on Paris

Bridge over the Seine River

Notre Dame

The gargoyles were petrifying

Inside the Notre Dame

Outside The Louvre

Arc de Triomphe

Riding on the top of a double decker bus!

The Mona Lisa...wasn't really that exciting to be honest

Ginormous painting

Couples attach a lock to the bridge to symbolize their love

Double decker view of Paris!

Update #9 (Amsterdam, Netherlands)

It is getting a bit difficult to remember all of the details of my trip. And I'm sure I'll leave out some things, but you'll at least get a feel for what the Netherlands was like for us!

Amsterdam was beautiful. I fell in love with its gorgeous buildings and canals and bikes almost immediately, despite the fact that we had to trudge through the rain lugging our suitcases to our new home at the Amsterdam YWAM base when we arrived. We were welcomed warmly, and were quickly assimilated into the YWAM base's schedule. We helped prepare meals, cleaned up afterwards, and helped with other assorted housekeeping chores. We attended some of the classes with the DTS school that was running while we were there, and attended some of their prayer and worship sessions as well.

Our ministry times were pretty varied. We spent a couple afternoons doing random acts of kindness, offering free prayer for people, going on prayer walks, and playing soccer with neighborhood kids after school. I think our most memorable ministry time, however, was when we helped a woman clean her house. Everyone said that they felt like they were on an episode of "Hoarders," but agreed that our help was very much worth it.

This older woman suffered from many medical ailments, and mostly had a lot of difficulty with her vision, being nearly blind. Doctors could perform surgery to improve her vision, however, her state of living was far from cleanly or sanitary. Any explanation of mine about the filth and grime and bugs and stench of this place will not do it justice. Do your best to imagine the worst, and this was that. She needed a clean home to come back to after surgery or she would risk infection. The doctors refused to operate until her home was clean. She also had no heat, because the repair men refused to enter the home to work on it. So our job was to spruce it up so she could get her heat back and have a surgery that would greatly alter her functionality in life. 

We disposed of countless things due to mold and dirt and various other things. Bugs crawled out from under the couch as we vacuumed it, and we scrubbed layer after layer of dirt, urine, and other mysterious grime. Perhaps the worst project was the bathroom. It was caked in poop, pee, and any combination of other nastiness wall to wall and of course on the floor and fixtures. Christina and Heath were the brave ones to tackle it. It took them three hours to scrub that baby down, but they did a great job (photos below). I had a hard time with the stench and bugs, but jokes and teamwork helped to make the job more enjoyable. We spent one day cleaning and organizing and minimizing. It only scratched the surface, but other church groups  would be coming to help out, as coordinated by the organization we had paired with. The woman was so amazed at the work we did and the transformation of her house that she actually cried when thanking us. God definitely used us!

During our free time we sampled a lot of great Dutch food. I am personally obsessed with stroopwafels, and McDonald's even had stroopwafel McFlurries. I think it's the only time I've craved McDonald's! We also did quite a bit of shopping. Those Dutchies have some style. Our team left looking pretty snazzy. I also got to spend some time with one of my friends from college who now lives in the Netherlands, which was pretty sweet. Also, our leader, Merel, and Jacquelien from our team are both Dutchies, so they were experts at navigating us around, and we also got to meet some of their friends and family. That was pretty special. We had a pretty awesome time touring Amsterdam!

Soccer ministry with neighborhood kids

Biking around like natives!

Before

After. Kudos to Christina and Heath.

Free Prayer for ministry time

The Dam--where we spent a lot of our time

Update #8 (Israel)

Israel. Jerusalem, specifically. It was like stepping back in time. I absolutely loved it. I venture (cautiously) to say that it was my favorite country we visited. Of all the places, this would be the one I would choose to return to before the others. The land is so rich with history, Christian importance, and revelation.

Our hosts were a South African couple with a great fire and excitement for the Lord and for Israel. One of the first things they told us was that Israel was a land of revelation and that we should expect God for awesome things and to teach us so much. What an exciting thing to know that we were in a special place where we could experience and understand God in a different way.

We toured the holy land and visited many sites where Jesus walked, gave sermons, and just lived everyday life. It's a bit surreal. It's hard to really connect things while you're there. We spent time doing prayer walks, picked olives with some disabled people, went to the Holocaust museum, attended a parade, and a handful of other things. We did a lot of just walking through the Old City and observing. I LOVED this, because I loved people watching. It was endlessly entertaining to me. I knew absolutely nothing about Jewish people and their religion and heritage before I went to Israel. Watching them was incredibly fascinating. I thought they were so precious, yet so interesting and intriguing.

The thing that sticks out most to me when I think back on our time in Israel was the realization of just how ignorant I am. I know so little about the world: the Jewish people and heritage, general world history, Christian history, and social issues (local and worldwide). I felt so frustrated with my lack of knowledge, because I knew that I was missing out on appreciating the places we went to for all they were worth. Knowing the roots and story behind something is so crucial to really understanding it presently and how it fits into our world now. It helps us see things with a more accurate perspective.

I came away with such a desire for greater knowledge. God really opened my eyes, provoked new thoughts and curiosities, and enlightened me. He gave me the opportunity to observe and experience things beyond my own culture, my religion, my upbringing, and my Western way of thinking. It is my hope that I can return to Jerusalem, Israel with greater knowledge of history and Christianity and the Bible, so that I may appreciate things for what they are, and to really grasp in the depths of my heart what a special place it is and will ever continue to be for all Christians.

Just last month I was in Starbucks waiting for my drink at the bar, and looking for a place to post up for the afternoon. I asked the woman behind me if I could use the seat next to her, and it got us to talking. Somehow we talked about careers, where we were from, what we've done in our lives, and a handful of other things. I had the opportunity to share with her that I was a Christian and had recently returned from a mission trip where I traveled around the world. As I told her where I had been, she lit up when I mentioned Israel. "I am from Israel, you know!" she said to me. "Wow, really?!" I replied. We began to talk about Israel, where I visited in Jerusalem, what my impression was, about religion--both Christian and Jewish-- and we chatted for a good 15 minutes. (The barista had to remake my drink because she thought that I had left without my drink..haha!) She had to leave, and as we parted ways, I was smiling to myself at how cool God is to orchestrate little connections like that. To share a wonderful moment with a perfect stranger is something special. I knew God was smiling too.

Video and photos from Israel:

Update video

Old City, Jerusalem

The View across the Kidron valley on the walk to our accommodations

Western Wall...Jews gathered during one of their celebrations

Trying to peek over the fence to see the Jews praying and celebrating near the Wall

Parade

A prisoner of war released and there was a great celebration

Ark of the Covenant replica

Church of the Nations

The wall around the city

Jesus' tomb

Jonah baptized Laura in the Jordan River

This temple has the original floor that Jesus preached on

Sea of Galilee