I want to share a little something that stood out to me in the final chapter of the book that spoke to me and challenged me a bit about the things I value and why. Nicole is speaking to the idea of what a healthy Christian woman looks like. She proposes that this woman would be "hearty and abundant."
"Hearty and abundant? those words don't seem to sum up what I'm trying to become. They sound like the description for a can of soup. I don't want to be soup. I want to be beautiful and elegant and smart and witty. But hearty and abundant might be much closer descriptors of what Jesus offers us. Hearty is defined as warm-hearted and affectionate; genuine and sincere; completely devoted; exuberant. Hearty is about a full-of-life heart."
I LOVED that. She hit the nail on the head. It really resounded within my heart--especially when she says she wants to be beautiful, elegant, smart, and witty. I want those things too; and other things like it. Most women do, I would imagine. But why? Do I desire those things because the Bible (God) tells us that they are the qualities of a godly woman, or is it because our culture and the media and the people around us portray them as valuable? I think far too often I can be found pining after the qualities and characteristics that the world values. And far too infrequently I am focused on developing the ones that God says are valuable.
What descriptors of women would God value? Well, he tells us in Proverbs 31 that a godly woman is virtuous, capable, hard-working, trustworthy, energetic, strong, confident, a provider, dignified, wise, peaceful, careful, kind, and God-fearing.
These aren't quite the same as beauty and elegance or popularity and style, or the other characteristics valued in the world. While some may overlap in different ways, I think a worldly focus is missing the mark.
Not only does God tell us what qualities we should be focused on attaining to be godly women, he also warns against things that we can become overly concerned with--things that take our focus from godliness.
"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes form within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This si how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands." (1 Peter 3:3-5)
I need to be honest with myself and realize that I have tendencies to be more concerned with outward beauty, hairstyles, clothes, and fashion. My desire is truly to be more focused on cultivating the characteristics of a godly woman. Do I want to be a woman that is precious to God because I have beauty on the inside and a gentle and quiet spirit, or do I want to be a woman who is precious in the eyes of the world because I am keeping up with the latest trends and buying the most fashionable clothes?
"We must be honest--gut-level, searingly honest--about the ways we are influenced by the world around us, with our issues old and new, and with our need for God in the moment-to-moment details of our lives. We need Christian sisters who hold us, not to the standard of our neighbors or culture, but to the standard of obedience to a life transformed by Christ." ("She's Got Issues")
This is how we turn from that worldliness and fight every day to become a little bit more like our wonderful God. We need to be brutally honest with ourselves, even when we don't like the truths we uncover. And we need brutally honest and incredibly loving Christian friends who will hold us to God's standard and won't allow us to settle for anything less. And we must help ourselves by knowing what we want and going after it.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." (Romans 12:2)
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